This is the beginning of the 'golden age' of SITM. Even when I was making them, around 9-10 years of age, I viewed the older issues with a certain amount of disdain, perhaps explaining why I never updated or replaced them. This particular issue marks a transition period in the art style. I abandon pencil in favor of pen, but I still haven't abandoned crayons.
Once again, it's time to start shamelessly stealing from Sonic the Hedgehog...
Title Page
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| Another special! Yay? |
Nice save correcting 'Super.' It was almost 'Seper,' but now nobody will notice.
So I finally abandon that awful lined notebook paper; unfortunately, I'm still making double-sided pages, so get ready for more of that annoying bleed through. We'll have to wait a few more issues before that annoyance is gone for good.
Page 1
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| I'll have the soup. |
So this issue consists of pen colored in with crayon. It's actually not the worst look; better than crayon alone, in my opinion. The characters are starting to get a bit more expressive, perhaps the only positive trait these stick figures will ever possess.
The story begins with the Brothers Three in some sort of temple. You can tell it's a temple by the presence of pillars, pedestals, and decorative plants. Apparently a swirling red vortex allowed us entry.
Upon the pedestal is a glowing blue circle, which Jess guesses is the 'magical super rock.' I don't know where he heard about any super rocks, but he seems to know what he's talking about.
Fun Fact: I often depict Zach as the tallest, and Jess as the shortest, since at the time this was true. Now that all three of us are man-children, the opposite is true: Jess is the tallest, and Zach is the shortest. I remain, as always, in the middle.
Page 2
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| 90's sunglasses. |
I appear to be skeptical. Zach tells me to nut up or shut up. Upon touching the orb, I become... blue? Glowing and blue.
Jess and Zach don sunglasses from nowhere and say 'cool special affects (sic) man!' This would be something of a running gag throughout the series. I know I'm stealing it from somewhere, but I can't remember. Animaniacs, maybe? Tiny Toons? Something very 90's and hip and witty. I thought this was the height of comedy.
Also, check out these actual panels! It's not just a series of splash pages! Witness the evolution!
Page 3
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| *too |
My newfound glowing powers apparently give me the ability to fly. Tossing the orb nonchalantly in a backpack I apparently had, we then depart through the dimensional vortex back to the Morff. Notice the 'exit' sign in the vortex. Zany! I don't know what that other object is floating in the vortex, but I'm guessing it's a soda can. This is a wacky, kooky dimensional vortex, people.
I was mildly obsessed with the concept of 'elemental zaniness.' Characters like Gogo Dodo from Tiny Toons were a big inspiration for these comics. He possessed inexplicable, reality-warping Comedy Powers. Alongside a dimension of fire, water, or darkness, I liked to imagine a plane of 'Wackiness' where hammers chased sentient nails to the eternal sound of flatulence. This energy bled into the Morff, giving it and the characters within a cartoonish elasticity, resilience, and generally negated the consequences for acts of extreme violence.
Perhaps this is the true power of the Spirit of Funkitude. I didn't put much thought into the metaphysics of the Morff, but this was where my heart and soul were coming from as I made these things.
Page 4
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| New powers? Stop bank robberies. |
We then cut to two minor villains: Crock and Eye Guy. Although they rarely show up throughout the series, these two buffoons were always lurking in my back catalogue of antagonists. Crock was a humanoid crocodile who wore headphones (wearing headphones was really cool in the 90's). Eye-guy was a blue punk with a giant eyeball for a head. These two were supposed to be the 'Bebop and Rocksteady' of the series, pretty much inept but more of a threat than the rank-and-file minions.
So we find these two idiots running away from a bank robbery. You can tell because Crock is holding a bag with a dollar sign on it. To further cement their goon stereotype, Eye Guy says 'What was dat?' as if he has some sort of Brooklyn accent.
It is I, Super Seth! Here to save the day! What better way to use my newfound Super super powers than to beat up these two morons for robbing a bank?
Yes, even though Seth has super powers from absorbing the Spirit of Funkitude, sometimes the need arises to go Super Saiyan and become extra-super. This was less inspired by Dragon Ball Z than it was by, once again, Sonic the Hedgehog. If you collected all 7 Chaos Emeralds in a Sonic game, you would unlock the power of Super Sonic, a glowing golden version of the Blue Blur who was extra-fast and invincible. (This was Sega ripping off DBZ, to be sure. Once again, I'm a 2nd generation plagiarist here.)
Page 5
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| You think that can wurt me!? |
Crock attacks! If you notice, the wire attached to his headphones goes down to the object (walkman?) in his pocket, and then from there to his... hand. Red energy streaks down it, to his hand, where a coin is waiting. He then flings this energy-enhanced coin at Super Seth as a weapon. Crock, being a gangster, flips coins, because flipping coins is cool. Like Gambit from the X-Men, he weaponizes his favorite flip-object with red energy. ISN'T THAT COOL GUYS? "Eat dis!" indeed. WATCH OUT SUPER SETH YOU'RE GETTING AN ENERGY COIN TO THE GROIN!!!
Oh, wait, it does nothing. The threat posed by Crock and Eye Guy is already very small; Super Seth makes the encounter trivial. Way to add suspense and a sense of stakes, 9-year-old me!
Crock and Eye Guy wind up in a crappy-looking jail. The day is saved. In a pattern that would repeat itself throughout SITM, Zach is supportive, while Jess seems grumpy. He's jealous of all my powers, guys! Isn't that great? Character dynamics!
You can rest easy now, Jess. There's not a lot to be jealous about with me these days. (Other than the fact that I made the greatest comic series in human history.)
For some reason, Jess is standing on the side of the Jail. The question of whether or not Jess and Zach have powers in the Morff is left frustratingly vague. For 95% of the series or so, Seth does all the cool stuff while Jess and Zach just sort of look on. The latent zaniness of the Morff alone is enough to allow Jess to ignore the laws of gravity for this panel, at least.
Next issue is the last appearance of the much-loathed double-sided page bleed through. Thank Clean Shaven White Jesus!
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