Clover Paige
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| VOMIT |
How could I possibly follow on the heels of the Doom's Day mini series? With a 'special' issue, of course! The Hyper Special, to be specific.
I feel as if I've repeated the following general paragraph many, many times, but I must needs do it once more: so, in the Sonic the Hedgehog games that occupied such a vaunted space in my mind, there was the existence of Super Sonic, which led to the creation of Super Seth. Now, the last of the 'OG' Sonic games, Sonic & Knuckles, featured a strange flappy-do on top of the cartridge, into which you could shove other Sonic games. This let you do wacky things, like play through Sonic 2 as Knuckles.
The most important thing this combination-tech gimmick did, however, was allow the union of Sonic 3 with S&K, creating a 16-level Mega Sonic Game. It was beautiful. If you've ever played that gorgeous, perfect platforming masterpiece, you know what I'm talking about. Now, once you got to the S&K portion of the Sonic 3 Cartridge Tower of Perfection, you would start collecting even larger Chaos Emeralds. If you collected all 16 of the Chaos Emeralds in the game, you would unlock Hyper Sonic, a prismatic-color-cascading version of Super Sonic that was even MORE POWERFUL.
You can see where this is going...
SIDE NOTE: see those two little things on the yellow line of Hyper Seth? That's a hammer chasing a nail, both with anthropomorphic feet. This is Zaniness shorthand, stolen from the surrealist chaos landscapes of Gogo Dodo and his ancestors from the older, more bizarre Loony Tunes of antiquity. (<LINK)
Page 1
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| Brok! |
We are introduced apropos of nothing to Cyber Seth, who apparently is in charge. He's a giant cyborg version of Seth. Who built him? Why? Dark One? Probably?
Anyway, apparently Cyber Seth is enough of a problem that Super Seth is required. It's worth noting that Sonic the Hedgehog had a robotic version of himself that would plague him on occasion, again a likely origin source of inspiration for this Villain of the Day.
Page 2
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| Witness me, shiny and crome. |
My artistic skills were clearly improving. Look at that giant robot hand! My mastery of written English was still in desperate need of improvement, however.
Cyber Seth should be saying: "Nice try! My chrome is super proof!"
Zach should be saying that he has a 'plan,' although he does likely possess a plane if you count his personal space craft; but it wasn't supposed to be a non sequitur.
Anyway, Zach and Jess are just standing around nearby, for some reason, watching me get my ass kicked. They decide to finally help out, and toss me their own Funk Orbs of Power. DOOT DEE DOOO!!
Page 3
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| Hyper Seth: Met. |
DO IT YOURSELF ACTIVITY:
Do you want to draw your very own Hyper Seth? It's easy! Here's how:
Step 1: remove the caps of every Crayola marker in the box.
Step 2: grasp them all with one or both hands.
Step 3: scribble them all around the page like you're having a seizure.
Step 4: attach a head to the mess.
Step 5: auto-defenestrate
Congratulations! You've made a hideous technicolor spagetti beast.
Page 4
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| RIP Cyber Seth; we barely knew ye. |
Cyber Seth is summarily destroyed by the swirling color vortex powers of Hyper Seth. As is tradition, Jess is consumed with jealous fury as yet another idiotic power is added to Seth's ever-growing list.
Enjoy your weekend, sir or madam.
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