Bringing You Back Up to Speed...
At long last, the wait is over. We now return to the rich drama of Sether in the Morff.
When we last left our heroes, they had recently survived a bomb attack from a mysterious new enemy. Using incredible powers of deduction, they determined their new foe was none other than Radical Worm, apparently filling the power vacuum left behind by the destruction of Nebula and Dark One.
Unbeknownst to our heroes, Radical Worm has set his sights on Earth. It would seem the battle for the destiny of the Pandimensionality will unfold not within the Morff, but the humble home dimension of the Brothers Three.
Without further ado: issue 29.
Ah, yes, the last issue ended with a teaser, promising the introduction of a new character. 'But who could it be?' the cover seems to be suggesting. Whoever they are, they seem to be a fan of blue skull icons.
|Cue the Imperial March...|
A fleet of spaceships, emblazoned with Radical Worm's 'R' logo, approach Earth with ill intent. For some idiotic reason, Radical Worm himself pilots a green helicopter thingy, despite this making no sense in a vacuum. Look, he used to pilot a helicopter, and he still did for continuity's sake. How else could you tell that it was Radical Worm, huh? Answer me that.
I probably should have designed a spooky capital ship for him. Also, where the hell did he get the resources to muster a massive armada of spacecraft? Dark One only managed a giant battle station, not an entire fleet. And how did they get to Earth's dimension? The logistics and resources behind this attack must truly be staggering.
It might be hard to make out, but the people pictured above were made in flesh-toned crayon instead of marker. Again, I didn't have a flesh-toned marker, so this was the best I could do. Why there aren't any brown people is a perfectly valid question as well. Or women, for that matter. I guess I was a massive racist/sexist as a child. Perhaps I should be running for president. OOOH POLITICAL COMMENTARY SO TOPICAL.
Anyway, a guy with awesome Muppet hair sees the approaching enemy fleet on radar. I think I stole that visual from the film Independence Day. The imagery of a man being skeletonized by alien lasers was stolen from Mars Attacks! if memory serves. My ability to appropriate visuals remains strong. Both of those films were made in 1996, which again dates this comic somewhere around that time.
I really like that skeleton, though. Poor bastard. He turns into a little pile of ash.
So Radical Worm manages to capture ALL OF THE PEOPLE ON EARTH HOLY SHIT! That's right, every man, woman, and child, or at least every colored oval I was too lazy to draw instead, are loaded aboard his large blue saucer ships. This is all apparently bait for Seth. Good Lord, I forgot the stakes were that high.
So I guess Radical Worm is the single most successful villain ever? Derp? BUT WAIT! There's trouble in the Land Down Unda, because a gun-having Australian man is refusing to go down without a fight! Yes, despite all the combined militaries of planet Earth getting their ass kicked, a single man wearing a blue skull unitard, a bandoleer of ammunition, a bandanna, and two blue ovals for feet is holding his own against the endless robot legions.
This is the new character! For some reason he has yellow skin, like Seth & Co., despite the fact that we established most humans are beige. I thought I chalked up the yellow skin to some weird wackiness energy from Dimension X, but I guess if you are a main character you get yellow skin magically? Why isn't he wearing pants? HE HAS GUNS THOUGH. And he has an Australian accent. I thought Australia was the most badass country as a kid, and decided to add a badass Australian to the roster. God help my soul.
The mysterious Australian Avenger claims that he will shoot the ever-loving shit out of anything arriving on Earth from parts unknown. With our heroes set on returning to Earth, it would seem destiny is arranging a conflict between these two forces! Who will win, a trio of idiots with insane super powers, or a lone Australian man with limitless ammo and a bandanna? Who knows? Who cares?
Get used to these later issues being of stupidly short length. Four pages is about the norm from here on out. Either I was trying to waste fewer sheets of paper so as not to piss off my parents, or I really wanted to get to 50 issues. Regardless, I failed.