Sether in the Morff Issue #2?
We're carrying right along, folks. I'm committing to this. At the risk of ridicule, sanction, and alienation, I will continue to electronically publish the Unvarnished Truth of this monumental work of graphic fiction.
I really need to do something with this blog template... spice it up a little. I was sad to see Comic Sans wasn't one of the default fonts. That's what this garbage deserves.
So, this is probably the oldest of these comics, older than the issue 1 remake certainly. I tentatively date this circa 1995 (I would have been 8 years old at the time). Note the little rectangle in the upper left corner: that is where the issue number usually is, but I neglected to put one there. This might not actually be issue #2, but I've arbitrarily given it that designation for my own sanity.
This was still back when I drew these things primarily in crayon, and the double-sided bleed issue is back in full force. If it weren't for that, this is actually not too bad for one of my older cover designs. A space shuttle with all-but-invisible pink wing-things hovers in orbit over a planet far below. The blue suggestion of an atmosphere is a nice touch. Behind the shuttle is the purple 'Seth' symbol, with a smaller one inside the 'dot' for some reason. I couldn't get enough of that dotted X symbol! Hot dog!
The planet down below is the Morff, I believe. For whatever reason, I imagined it looked like a giant, spherical brain. I blame 'A Wrinkle in Time' for my fascination with giant brains as a child.
|Dictionaries are for losers.|
Good lord, where to begin? The title takes up half the page for no reason. 'Sether' is missing the last 'e', replaced by an apostrophe for reasons that baffle the adult mind. The actual title of the issue is behind 'Seth'r in the Morff' to increase reading difficulty. The word 'suspended' has been mercilessly butchered, and the missing 'p' in Space was shoved underneath the whole mess after I realized I had spelled it wrong. You can't erase crayon! "SaSpendea in Sace" indeed.
"A usawal day, Seth's being chased by space cycle's. but somthing unicspected happend."
Realizing that there needed to be a character on the page, I cram a shitty depiction of myself running from what must be lasers, apparently fired from 'space cycles.' Composition: 1/10
A splash page! If you can make him out in front of the god-awful bleed through, there is a Dark One Man firing some sort of gun-thing at me. It makes the sound 'spaze!' For all my inexplicable power, apparently a spaze-gun is enough to take me out. I remember being really proud of that gun design. You'll see it pop up from time to time. I don't understand why it's not standard issue for the Dark One Men, since it's the only thing that can hurt me. Maybe they're expensive to produce. Clearly, I spent a lot of time as a boy thinking about the economy of the Morff.
|The Dark One!|
So here is the first full-body appearance of the Dark One. Another splash page, for some reason. My vision was too grand to break these pages up with panels. Those two lines sticking out of his 'neck' are his cape, because of course he has a cape. He's basically a ripoff of Darth Vader. I wouldn't be surprised if I thought they were saying 'Dark Vader' as a child, which makes the plagiarism even more blatant.
The guy he's talking to is saluting, in case you couldn't tell. In the background, my unconscious body is being brought to a space shuttle. What could their nefarious plan possibly be? It certainly wasn't spoiled in the title, that's for sure.
Aside from some spacing/kerning issues, there's no spelling errors on this page, at least.
Let's keep the splash page train rolling! I can tell by the page bleed through that there will finally be panels soon, though. So here, the shuttle is firing off into space. The entire bottom of the shuttle appears to be a gigantic rocket engine. The sound effect isn't capitalized, which implies it's a half-assed sounding rocket. 'braaaaaaaa!'
This visual was stolen from Sonic the Hedgehog games. I was a Sega fanboy, back when the console wars actually mattered. Starting with Sonic 2, the Blue Blur would routinely get launched into space for reasons. I loved these sequences, and shamelessly stole them for my own comic endeavors.
Watch this video around the 5:40 mark. That was where my mind was.
I awake to find myself stranded in orbit, with rapidly depleting oxygen. The danger and suspense is immediately resolved by the arrival of a poorly-rendered red space ship that fires purple lasers at the airlock. Logic suggests that this would lead to my demise as I'm blown out into space, but trust me, salvation is at hand.
I've already established that I can fire 'sonic blasts' out of my hands, and you will soon witness even more insane displays of power. Getting stranded in a shuttle in space is hardly an inconvenience, let alone a danger. However, for purposes of this issue, I guess getting launched into space is a bad time.
Why didn't Dark One just murder me while I was unconscious? Who can truly understand the mechanizations of his villainous mind?
But who, oh who, is rescuing me? READ ON:
And we end strong on yet another splash page. The shorter bloke in red, dear readers, is my younger brother Jess. You'll see him pop up in subsequent issues from time to time, usually slightly shorter than me and clad in red. That symbol on his body is the 'Jess symbol,' similar to the dotted X on mine. It appears to be a slightly-frowning face. I'm not sure why I chose this as Jess's symbol... perhaps it speaks of a mild reluctance or disappointment on my part, like I sort of resent including him on these insane adventures.
Jess, if you're reading this, I'd like to formally apologize for your symbol. It sucks. I don't know why I didn't make a better one.
Now, you may be wondering how Jess arrived in the Morff, if I was sucked through a magical refrigerator portal. Well, I don't know, or remember. If I bothered to explain it at all, it was probably in one of the 'lost' issues. Both of my brothers are in the Morff, actually. I have an older brother, named Zach, who will show up later. Jess can at least have some small satisfaction knowing he's the first to show up in this train wreck of a comic series.
I don't know where he acquired a red spaceship... I'm guessing Doc and Prometheus had it hanging out at the 'Seth Base.' Note that the airlock has a doorknob, and is shaped like a regular door you might find on a house or in a hallway. Top notch ship design. A+
So ends this, the earliest, unnumbered issues of SITM. Sadly, 6 pages is a pretty robust size. Many subsequent issues barely run half this length. God, I hope I leave the double-sided crayon ones behind soon.