SITM #41

Sether in the Morff Issue #41:  

The Revivalsurgevengencening

Buuuuh!?!?

I bet that's the sound you're making right now, with your stupid gross mouth.  For god's sake, slammajam some Listerine up in that hole, you're grossing your coworkers out.

That's right, folks.  I've done the unthinkable, the irredeemable, and decided to continue Sether in the Morff from where it left off. The goal is to get to issue 50, finally take it out back, then tenderly put a bullet between its eyes as I squeeze out a few man tears.  

Without further ado:

Cover Page

OH GOD NOOOOO

It's alive.  It's alive!  IT'S ALLIIIIIIVVEE!!

Page 1

FUUUUUUUUCKK

AHAHHAHAHAHHA!!  HAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHHA!!!!  I'VE DONE IT!  NO ONE CAN STOP ME!  

Page 2

Recommended listening: the Red Dragon original soundtrack.

So... as you can see, I've done my best to recreate the crappy stick-figure stylings of my 8-year-old self.  These pages were drawn on blank printer paper, like God intended, with Crayola markers and Crayola crayons.  Yes, I could have saved $3 on the generic Target brand kind, but dammit, there's tradition to uphold here.

I did no pre-drafting of any kind, drawing everything as it came to me, just like I did in the good old days.  Best of all, my handwriting hasn't improved.  In 20 years.  TAKE A LOOK AT THE OLD ISSUES.  It's the SAME HANDWRITING.  GOD DAMMIT, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

Page 3

Fuck, I still can't read this shit.

We get a nice little recap from our hero here.  Some kind of space battle is happening or whatever.  It's dumb.  SCREEOOM!

Page 4

I can still fuck up spelling things.  I have a Master's in fiction writing.

My brothers return to the... paper screen?  I mess up spelling the word 'league,' but fuck if I'm going to shell out for whiteout on this nonsense.  I also attempt to write-off the League of Free Worlds here, since that was dumb and basically plagiarism.  Can't do that no more!

Page 5

MISSILE TRAILS

 Don't worry, Clyde is still here.  I believe there's a continuity error here: I think Clyde was in one of the black stealth ships, but whatever, now he's in his blue ship with all the guns.

Page 6

An end!

Before the Brothers Three can reach their target, they are intercepted by a dumb killer robot I pulled out of my ass.  It doesn't have a name yet.  Obitumatic?  Attrocitron?

I used to crap out one of these things in an hour, but this took me several evenings; adding crayon coloration certainly adds some time!  I need to look in to scanning these things at a lower resolution; that might let me post them in actual size, large enough that they're easier to read.  Not that anything I'm writing matters in the slightest.

Stay tuned for more updates!  YES!

Sether in the Morff #40

This is it, folks.  The end of the original SITM series.  Do you need a moment?  I'll wait.  

You okay?  It's alright, man.  All good things must come to an end. 

Let's end this.

Cover Page

Oooh!

Why, this looks like something someone with slightly more artistic skill might have created!  For what it's worth, I think my drawing skills had developed since the earliest days.  It's interesting to compare this issue with the horrors of say, issue #8.

Page 1

DERF

Our heroes go to the 'air dock,' where the new stealth ships await. They're black, and sleek, so you know they're stealth!  Aww yiss.

Note the scurrying chaos of little pencil stick men in the dock.  It's hard to make out, but there's all sorts of weird easter eggs and visual gags going on.  There's a bar with drunk people staggering about, I think somebody is getting shot, there's a guy about to fly off into space (his lifeline is severed), there's people hanging on to the 'Air Dock 3' sign.  Waldo is even in there somewhere.  Can you find him?

Yes, this was almost certainly inspired by the Where's Waldo? books.  NOSTALGIA IS A DRUG.  DON'T MAKE NANCY REAGAN MAD!

Page 2

Attempts at ambient lighting!

Yes, the interior of the stealth ships have a greenish glow, making me draw everything in green marker.  Okay?  Derp?  The mission begins!

Page 3

Laziness strikes again!

As the squadron of stealth fighters approaches the bulk of Radical's fleet, I forget to color them in with black colored pencil, or draw the blue contrail of their engines.  This is a hefty issue; I've got 9 pages to get through, damn it!  Let's keep moving!

Page 4

SPACE FIGHT

The battle begins!  Zoomed out, everybody appears as little dots.  Look at all them lasers!

Page 5

Violence!

The battle rages.  Dog fights!  In space!  This was important to me as a child!

Page 6

Crusar?

Our heroes zero in on a POW transport ship.  They can't just blow it up!  What are they going to do?  HUH?

Page 7

Colony Wars game mechanics!

Yes, in the game Colony Wars, sometimes you had to disable enemy ships by using EMP guns against them.  Typically the disabled ship would then be towed away by a frigate.  Just aping Colony Wars here.  Move along.

Page 8

BOSS FIGHT

Our heroes focus on Radical's capital ship, the Mega Cruiser.  The League sends in a destroyer to help the stealth fighters.

Page 9

OH DAMN!

Having none of this, Radical orders the League destroyer... destroyed.  Our heroes are in for a fight!  What will they do?

NOTHING.  THIS IS THE END.  ARRRRGGHHH!!

Bonus Page

Sadness...

On the back of the last page, in pencil, I drew this weird doodle.  All of the major characters are standing around, as Seth says "Hey guys!  We're almost to 50 issues!"  :(

The peace sign is up there for no reason, as well as Kenny from South Park, about to be hit by an anvil.  This dates this episode around 1997, when South Park first came out, so I would have been 10 years old or so at the conclusion of SITM.  

To the right of Clyde is a character a friend of mine designed, some sort of super hero.  His name was Mike (my friend), so perhaps the character was named Mike?  He flew around on a magic flying saucer skateboard thing, and he had a cape.  We sat around and drew stupid crap together several times, and had a blast.  This was the first cameo of Mike's character, but I guess I never got around to a proper collaboration.  What a loss!

Well, so ends SITM.  My young mind was already becoming aware of how crappy SITM was, and wanted to move on to something more serious.  Oddly, I kept these old comics in better condition than anything that came after them; much has been lost, but the bulk of SITM has always been stowed away safely in folders.  I even lugged them with me to college and back.

Now they will reside on the internets with my bizarre commentary, until the day society collapses.  Cherish this record of priceless historical artifacts, you philistines.  

Stay tuned for future updates!  Or don't!

Sether in the Morff #39

Here it is, folks.  The penultimate issue of SITM.  OH BOY!!

Cover Page

Wee!

This cover depicts Seth in a spacesuit on some sort of dumb EVA mission.  I thought I had established in earlier issues that Seth could survive in the vacuum of space with his wacky powers alone, but maybe I'm wrong?  Who knows?

Page 1

Exposition?

Seth is understandably skeptical about these League folks, but Clyde explains that they are some kind of 'intergalactic police.'  ...Sure?

Meanwhile, Radical Worm has the League on his threat radar.  He's a-gonna be pissed.

Page 2

I hate everything.

Captain John Elway (barf) gives a mission briefing.  The crowd of seated entities is one of my patented 'easter egg hunt' panels.  The MST3K gang can be seen, as can Sonic the Hedgehog, Dynamite Heady, Mr. & Mrs. Pacman and Pacman Jr., and... a penguin?  Also, I think that might be Mickey Mouse in the upper left.

Then, for no goddamn reason at all, I introduce a pointless robotic servant thing called 'Pipo.'  The idea of a servile robot that served you drinks was something I thought was really cool.  So when the robots finally rise up to cast us down, you can know I was part of the problem from day one, with my robot slave fantasies.  I no longer feel the need to justify any of this to you.  I no longer feel the need to justify anything.  I am transcended.  I am The Dragon.

Page 3

I LIKED DRINKS, OKAY?  FUCK.

Clyde helpfully explains what I just told you.  Then the PA system announces that the operation is about to begin.  Oh no!

Notice the sort of art upgrade in this issue?  I started coloring in peoples' bodies with colored pencil.  What's up with that?

Bonus Page

BLEED THROUGHHH

On the back of page 1 I found this weird pencil drawing, apparently fake commercial for 'Yahoo.'  I don't know what this is.  I think I might have meant 'Yoohoo,' that gnarly chocolate milk drink.  Or perhaps it was a reference to the cartoon 'Hey Arnold!' where I think they drank something called 'Yahoo.'  I don't know.  Apparently it's not size that counts, though.  What the fuck was I talking about?

Drink it in, folks.  The next update will be the final installment of OG SITM.

Sether in the Morff #38

Cover Page

Huh?

The cover of issue 38 is pretty hard to decipher.  What we're supposed to be looking at is the side of a green space ship, with 'L.W.' on the side of the hull.  What could this mean, you may wonder?  Well, buckle up.  We're about to fuse SITM with... fan fiction?

Page 1

Bwuh?

So just as it looks like all is lost, and our heroes are about to be destroyed by a massive fleet of enemy ships, a large green space ship uncloaks and attacks the villains.  Clyde seems to know what's up.  But who could these folks be?

Page 2

Blam!  Boom!

The new ship dispatches Radical's forces with ease.  The boys seem confused, but Clyde claims they are his partners...

Page 3

...

So Clyde's partners are the 'League of Free Worlds.'  This is the name of the rebellious faction from the video game Colony Wars I've mentioned in earlier updates.  Rather than adapting them, or making something new based off of them, I just fucking put the League in SITM for no reason other than I was really obsessed with the game at the time.  

Aboard the League destroyer (Goliath), they meet Captain John Elway.  

...Fffffuck.

Look, I don't like sports very much.  Even as a kid, I couldn't tell you the first thing about real-life John Elway.  I just needed a name for this captain character, and John Elway was all I could come up with.  It's a good name, I guess?  Feck.

So he's the Captain/General of the League of Free Worlds.  In the Colony Wars video game, the leader of the league was a mysterious figure known only as 'the Father.'  I needed something a little more personable. 

Note those yellow blobs on Elway's shoulders: those are those little tassel-thingys you see on old-school military uniforms.  I thought those things were the best.  He also has a little whip... stick... cane thing, for some reason.  He also has hair!  A little yellow line sticks out of his head, perhaps to better differentiate him from the rest of the yellow smiley-face cast.  He also definitely seems to be wearing pants, unlike everybody else.

Page 4

FOOD

So I guess Radical Worm didn't capture the entire human race?  I guess they have a fleet of powerful warships?  The League?  Where were they when Radical was attacking Earth?  Why didn't they stop him from kidnapping all of humanity?  You're guess is as good as mine.

Apparently they have a plan to attack Radical.  Great!

It's hard to read, but that cramped little box in the lower right corner reads:

"To be continued.  Looks like the boys ran into yet another unexpected twist!"

Thanks for that commentary, past-self.  You're the epitome of wit.

Check out that spread, though!  Jello, turkey... a bowl of orange circles.  Dee-lish. 

Sether in the Morff #37

Cover Page

Hand me down flip-flops, hand me down socks, hand me down drug dealers, hand me down rocks.

Oh Sweet Mary & Joseph Stalin...  What the hell is going on here?

So... first of all, this is the first issue I did after acquiring a new set of markers.  I can tell because I now have dark green, gray, and light blue to work with.  This marker set was pretty badass.  It was like a little wooden briefcase with a closey-claspy-doo, and a handle to carry it around.  Inside were little plastic impressions where the markers and crayons and stuff fit inside.  It was one of my most prized possessions for a long time.  I was of course excited to start using it immediately.  The final few issues of SITM were forged with these implements before my attentions drew me elsewhere.

Now this particular cover has so much raw 90's street-cred 'tude I don't even know how to handle it.  Seth levitates slightly off the ground in a dirty alleyway, because dirty alleyways are a window to the heart of the city, man!  And he's stickin' it to the man, who is Radical Worm in this case, by spray painting over his big R symbol thing.  Radical!  I'm surprised Seth isn't wearing rollerblades and headphones like a jackass.  

What the hell is that graffiti over the R?  Juno?  JNCO?  I couldn't tell you.  I think I was trying to make as authentic a generic graffiti tag I could produce at the moment.  JNCO jeans were pretty popular when I was a kid, and it didn't get much more urban coolness than that.  Who the hell knows?  

If you ever look at pictures of what was cool in the 90's, and wonder perplexedly how anyone could ever think it was cool, these comics are proof that at the time, kids DID think sunglasses and skateboards and graffiti was cool.  So grab a Capri Sun and a Fruit By the Foot and continue reading, you worthless sack of trash.

Page 1

SPACE CHIPS

Our heroes blast off from Earth with only a vague idea of attacking Radical Worm's war fleet or something.  Good plan, guys.

Page 2

-Insert Admiral Akbar Quote-

The text is a little hard to read on this one.  A voice that is probably Radical Worm says 'Come little ones... into my TRAP!'

Then Jess is all like 'This isn't right!  We should have ran into trouble by now!'

Then Seth is all like 'We just have...'

And then Zach helpfully exclaims: 'They cloaked!'

Yes, apparently Radical's fleet has stealth cloaking technology.  All that lightning is supposed to be their de-cloaking... thing.  A visual stolen from the video game Colony Wars I might add.  I mentioned this game before; it's going to have quite the influence over these last few issues indeed.

Page 3

Not even 'to be continued.'  Just 'be continued.'  >_<

I abruptly decide to end the issue now.  I think I was just rushing along, trying to get to issue 40.  I probably could have fused the last three issues into a single volume.  Derp.

Anyway, Radical Worm gives us a hearty skull laugh.  Notice that he's no longer drawn in hard-to-see flesh-tone crayon!  Yes, I now had a pink marker, and I wasn't afraid to use it.

Sether in the Morff #36

OH DAMN!  OH DAMN!  OH DAMN!  I KEEP MISSING UPDATES ARRRGHH!!!

Cover Page

Shitty spaceships on yellowed paper!

I don't even remember what's going on.  Do you?  Feck.

Page 1

Aussalt?

Our heroes return to Earth, where they left their spaceships.  I'm surprised that Radical Worm and his cronies didn't steal them or blow them up.  Actually, I'm not.  His ineptitude is well established at this point.  Look at that idyllic fucking scene in the last panel.  Green grass, poofy clouds, and a yellow shining sun.  Keep in mind that not far off is the devastated, burnt, destroyed remnants of a human city.  Hooray!

Page 2

Oh Jesus God in Heaven, why?

So Clyde returns with his own fancy ship, loaded up with guns of course.  What does he call this machine of war?  The 'Clyde-o-scope.'  As in kaleidoscope.  It's a pun.  Why did I think that was cool?  What the hell was wrong with me?  What the hell IS wrong with me?  I can't see the sky anymore.  Just a bunch of disembodied doll faces weeping blood.  IA!  IA!  FHTAGN!!

Page 3

At least it's not four pages...

So then, like, Seth puts on a fucking general's outfit, like he's George Patton or some shit, and gives an idiotic inspirational speech.  I guess you're supposed to get pumped for another mindless space battle?  "We're gana win!"  *belch*

I sure am glad this atrocity is almost over.  My brain can't really come up with much more commentary that hasn't already been said.  Sadly, we haven't even begun to see the final acts of Epic Stupidity that await.  I'm probably going to have a stroke before this is all over.  NOBODY GETS ANY OF MY STUFF!!

Sether in the Morff #35

Aw geez, I forgot to update yesterday.  I'm really slipping up.  DERF.

Cover Page

Explosion, flower, or popcorn?

This issue promises to be quite EXPLOSIVE!  Get it?  HAHA HURR HURR.

Page 1

Blamo!  Kablamz!

This issue, entitled 'Blamo!' begins with some space combat.  I guess this was inspired by the scene in Star Wars where the Millennium Falcon fights off some TIE fighters with swivel turret lasers or whatever.  

Page 2

Egect?

I guess I didn't know how to spell eject.  Close, but no cigar.

After all that build up and all that explanation, I just blow up their new spaceship.  I guess I was tired of that idea.  I originally planned on it being their new mobile base or something, but no, let's just blow it to smithereens. 

Page 3

What's this?

Clyde fails to eject properly, but apparently it doesn't matter, because now he has super powers or something.

Page 4

The end?

So I guess Clyde now has super powers.  Perhaps the very violence of the explosion gave him violence powers, since he's all about violence?  I never even read Punisher comics, but Clyde seems to be a similar sort of archetype: skulls, ammo bandoleers, and guns.  I refer to the Punisher as 'Violence Man,' (which is also a reference to something!  Can you guess what it is?), because Violence is what he do.

I wonder if I lost a page to this comic, or if I forgot to formally end it, but this is where issue 35 comes to a close.  Riveting, no? So what will happen to our boys in space now?  I DUNNO!  ACTUALLY I DO!  AND IT'S DUMB!